Autobiography of a Self-Made Crown Law Draughtsman.

(By Suum Cuique.)

"Nescia mens [unclear: ihominum] fati sortisque futurae."

We are the folks that a-summering went: —
This is the end of our summering,

—H. C. Bunner.

Tune—" Yo ho, little girls, yo ho," from "A Country Girl."

When I took on law I clearly saw
What a great jurist I'd be,
So I swotted hard with due regard
For things in store for me.
And I wrote a book which so quite took
The Council by surprise,
That they said with glee in him we see
Good profit for our L.S.D.,
Pufendorf in disguise.

(Bis.)

Let's make him a Professor
To specialise in law;
Once under way he'll talk all day,
Foundation stones of learning lay.
"Right you are, my hearties," replied Chairman Sir Bob;
"Just drop him a line and get him to sign
On for a five years' job."

So I quickly came to spread my fame,
I knew I'd make a hit.
Jurisprudence I taught students
With consummate merit.
And I proved Austin was quite lost in
Legal discussion trite,
That Blackstone, Bentham, Henry Maine
Gave exposition quite insane;
My own alone were right.

(Bis.)

Yo ho, undergrads, yo ho!
For my book you ought to know,
If you want to be an LL.B.,
Chief Justice of the Colony,
The "second" greatest jurist in Australasia,
An M.L.C., a great J.P.,
Or the College Registrar.

At the terms' exams I showed what crams
Undergraduates can be;
They were so outclassed I only passed
'Bout one in twenty-three.
For if my great work they chose to shirk
(In sooth, what arrogance!),
Prospective B.A.'s, LL.B.'s,
With senior schols tucked up their sleeves
Had but a Buckley's chance.

(Bis.)

page 14

And I let the Prof. Board know
I meant to rule the show;
Should any one my lectures shun,
They would soon find out what would be done.
Now, budding- senior scholars, just take a tip from me,
For my exam you must not cram
If you want an arts degree.

Last diploma day I had my say,
And myself did advertise,
For I talked with zest and did my best
To open all men's eyes.
And I pointed out without a doubt
A state of things most lax,
When by our laws, solicitors
Enter the bar through the back doors
By "Law Practitioners' Acts"

(Bis.)

This disgraceful rule, I said,
We must get amended;
Such imprudence and lack of sense
Puts a premium on indolence.
The law must be abolished; 'tis meet we should enact
That all K.C.'s without degrees
Immediately be sacked.

When a year passed by, I saw how high
Was my reputation,
Till one fine day there came my way
A deputation.
And Joe Ward said, "I shall want drafted
A Braund Suppression Bill;
If increased screw I give to you,
Will you bid adieu to all the crew
On Salamanca Hill?"

(Bis.)

But I answered, "Half a mo.,
Just wait a bit, Sir Joe;
It sounds all right in a Premier's speech,
But I agreed five years to teach."
"Rats!" replied King Joseph; "should the Council get stormy,
I've told Findlay what he must say
(He's chairman, don't you see)."

Since I've won my bays, I get much praise,
And not without just cause,
For now I am the greatest man
In the office of Crown Laws.
Though it is a fact I did compact
To stay five years or more,
The breach of course gave no remorse,
For the contract had no binding force.
Thus spake the great Doctor:

(Bis.)

"Since 'ex nudo pacto non oritur actio,'
Is a rule of law, dear Professor,
Existing from the time of Noah,
Forget Victoria College, since this one fact is true,
The Government will rest content,
Now that it has got you.

Salus Populi Suprema Lex.