Victoria College Students' Carnival. Friday and Saturday, 29th & 30th June, 1906
Local and General
Local and General.
"Love feeds on many kinds of food, I know." —Sorcerer.
Many the strange things we've lately been hearing,
Worthy to set out in review,
Since in the papers they have all been appearing,
May be it's possible they're true.
Deadly is the pall of fear that's now hanging o'er us,
Tinned meats we wonder what you are?
From far Chicago is wafted this old chorus,
And small goods are selling under par.
O gentle sausage,
You're such a mystery,
We cannot fathom,
Your family history.
The power of speaking,
Is what you're seeking,
So you could tell us your sad tale of woe.
"Your style is much too sanctified, Your cut is too canonical." Patience.
Ethics we fear are in mournful condition,
Raffles are frequent and free.
North says the City will go to perdition,
Keogh begs to disagree.
North airs his views on the totalisator,
Wbyte airs his views then on North.
Up there jumps a third as mediator,
Bubble and fizz and froth.
"I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right as right can be."
In endless columns,
In all the papers,
They scrap and squabble,
And cut their capers;
Just hear the rattle,
Of wordy battle,
In this great fight of the unemployed,
"You display, madam, shocking taste." —Iolanthe.
O such a row has of late filled the presses,
Are women civilized or not?
Did ancient savages go in for fine dresses,
Feathers and ornaments a lot?
Did toques and bonnets and sweet dreams made of chiffon.
Run up the cannibals' bills?
Did a savage resemble a skiff on
An ocean of flounces and frills?
"I'm sorry for you, you very imperfect ablutioner." —Mikado.
Now Dr. Jimmy,
With anger rightful,
Calls teas and parties
Black sins most frightful.
Poor chap feels slighted
He's not invited,
Nor is his dress oft described in the Post.
"Upon my word, I hardly like to associate with myself,
I don't think I'm respectable."