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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Friday and Saturday, 29th & 30th June, 1906

Tableau I.—"The Stone Age."

Tableau I.—"The Stone Age."

"This costume chaste
Is but good taste



Honour and thanks to the days gone west!
Pledge we! to whom they bequeathed their best;—
Biave days of stress when the world was young:
Let their praises be sung
With an eloquent tongue,
To lutes highly strung!

page 20

Pledge we the men and the kings of men
Who builded world-cities on cliff and fen;
And whoso the gauntlet of Freedom flung
Let their praises be sung
With an eloquent tongue,
To lutes highly strung!

But pardon.—our purpose is but to-night
To touch on an undergrad's perilous plight—
The victim of chancellors' tyrannous ways
From the dolomite days.
Through the iron-adze phase,
To the tabloid craze.

Song of the Chancellor.

"And has not such a Story from of Old,
Down Man's successive generations roll'd;
Of such a clod of saturated Earth
Cast by the Maker into Human mould."

Omar Khayyam.

"He's extremely pretty, but he's inclined to be Stout." —Iolanthe.

Air—" The Susceptible Chancellor."—From "Iolanthe."

Oh! this is an age of excellence,
And all is good at small expense;
This cap and gown which here you see,
I wore, my friends, to take my degree.
The fur round my collar cost me least,
I collared it off the back of the beast:
A very formidable brute it was.
A Munchumupoletricopheroz.
Bis.—A rather fine achievement for
An antediluvian Chancellor.

The hardship that we've had is great.
To bring our College right up to date;
And here you observe the noble pile,
Which will have to last us quite a while.
But we're waiting on with hope forlorn,
For a man to die who's not yet been born,
Who'll bequeath his teeth, his skins and his hides,
(Which is current coin) and all else besides;
Bis.—Yes, this is what I'm waiting for,
An antediluvian Chancellor.

"Resolved to try
A plan whereby
Young men might best be steadied."


page 21

The students are a troublesome lot,
Who'll end in jug as like as not;
And when I speak they're not polite.
Hurling great chunks of Dolomite.
They hunt all day and drink all night,
Do all that's wrong and nought that's right,
Sing rowdy songs with all their might.
And in strange noises take delight:
Bis.—Which is exasperating for
An antediluvian Chancellor.

Of profs. to obtain sufficiency,
Especially in Biology,
Is really very hard, and 1
Will now attempt to tell you why.
They go in search of the fossils and
The insects that dwell upon the land,
To bring them all back with evident pride;
But usually they come back inside
Bis.—An insect with a longer jaw,
Than an antediluvian Chancellor.

"A man however well-behaved,
At best is only a monkey, shaved."

Princess Ida.

The monkeys who live round the place
Evolve humanity apace.
The chimpanzees increase my joys
By turning into naughty boys.
And little girl students all declare,
That these persist in tugging their hair.
And in most cases this 'll be found,
To descend in ringlets to the ground.
Bis.—Oh, hairpins are a puzzle for
An antediluvian Chancellor.

"My mother bids me bind my hair." —Old Song.


"Nothing man unsettles
Like a bed of stinging nettles,
When he jumps."

Princess Ida.

Air"The World went very well then."

Now in the time of the afterglow,
When science creeps a trifle slow,
And we think how little we really know,
And how well the world went then;
We sigh for the games we had in trees,
When jumps were the tests for pass degrees,
And students who "couldn't" just "did a freeze,"
For Profs. turned somersaults then.

page 22

For Profs, were chosen for movement free,
They were always right at the top of the tree,
And lectures were short as short could be,
Yet the world went very well then;
They did without gowns and trenchers too,
Even hoods I regret to say were few,
But they taught the theories "bough-wow" and "pooh"
Even Hugh turned somersaults then.

The classics then were wondrous things,
They were Greecy twists on Roman rings,
And the Prof, knew all the rarest swings—
For John was an acrobat then;
But now that age we regret to state,
Only serves as foil for a "stony" fate,
And keeps our museum shelves up-to-date,
Though the world went very well then.