Frank Leward: Memorials
Bampton to Frank
Bampton to Frank.
Dear Manikin.—Only manikins now in this world time was when there were men now only diminutive little men, grotesque little men, great men gone, fled away into page 202clouds, got buried in earth and not come up again in any form. Lying little men too most of them as it seems to me sitting in courts called legal hearing them lie poor manikins. Not lying either like harlot Rahab for sake of others, to save them, these lies only for small advancement or imagined gain to the hurt loss ruin and destruction of other manikins, these lies in courts called legal. One Saunders greater manikin than most, diminutive sometimes almost disappearing there, and leaving man or its resemblance—such an one hath lately read to me missive or despatch of thine sent over liquid combination of things called gases by manikins for want of a better word, which gases when combined in certain quantities also called water, floating about on small globular surface orange shaped and more less indented, and thought to be large by manikins, small really, only large compared to manikins, from other side said globular surface hath come missive or despatch of thine writ in other fluid, colour black.
And so poor Manikin to grey moist matter shut in thy dome of bone called skull to thy convolutions of grey matter called will and sometimes hope and wish and sometimes fear and dispair when other liquids colour red cause by their rush grey matter to set a working, sometimes also called thought and life, this said life hath seemed not to have been made much of, quite thrown away and gone all these cycles of thirty periods of days containing three hundred and sixty-five days each, more or less, nothing to show to self or gazing crowds for all these days uncountable by me having to read many lies page 203so that the "me" may arrange them well and make them seem not to be lies at all but true. For in Courts called legal sitteth manikin dressed in red robe sometimes and sometimes grey and sometimes black having hair of horses on his head to hide his own hair of asses and near him sit twelve other manikins in common dress no hair of horses stuck on them only their own asses hair as all may see. And before these so covering their nakedness must come this manikin and another like to him having robe always black and horses hair upon their heads, and in return for certain golden counters placed or to be placed in palms itching for such like, say, and try hard to make red robed manikin believe, and the twelve black-clothed believe, that he who hath caused said counters so to be placed hath not lied and that other non-giver he lieth furiously.
Alas poor manikin so groping just beneath outside or rind of orange shaped globe seeming large for stuff whereof said counters be made, stuff looking yellow and being less pervious to certain acids than most other stuff, all this is as nothing to thee, though thou findest much hidden there—placed there indeed for thee to find perchance—mere wasted time, utter nothingness, not to be spoken of, quite gone passed away, forgotten. What then shall we say of this poor manikin. To make twelve manikins in a box believe one manikin lieth not who lieth terribly, or perhaps that other lieth who lieth not; whats that?
But to our business. Thy twice one thousand pounds weight of silver or thereabouts expressed mostly for sake page 204of brevity by said golden ore stamped upon with female effigy representant of majesty and glory and government of Britain, counter so stamped representant too of other gold fumbled for and found by thee on other side globular orange shaped floating mass of something somewhere, hath lately gone to swell thine already swelling hoards of gain. One thousand pounds weight in silver hath also gone in aid to small Welsh manikin for sake of distinction there foolishly called Jones, most other manikins in that small portion of globe being likewise so distinguished or attempted so to be by other manikins mostly fools, as must be evident to thee. Such Jones not much more or better distinguished by the prefix or addition Lloyd, and living in a still smaller sub-division of said smaller portion name quite unpronouncable and unwritable by me. This Jones is thereby and by thee aided in his constant efforts to bring to light from out dirt or stuff by which said portion of globe is covered more green coloured vegetables, afterwards turning yellow and then cut down having first pushed forth from end or head thereof certain bunches or so called ears of seed by manikins too called corn. Which corn being crushed or powdered produceth a whitish flour much helping manikins to move about their forked and other contrivances and altogether prevent them from becoming mere stinking nothingness masses of corruption and skeletons. Said Jones to return every twelfth month forty five pounds weight of silver as usufruct of said one thousand pounds for the use of a manikin to whom I indite this letter. Other one thousand pounds at the page 205same time entrusted to me for expenditure for his or other's advancement in this world or next, hath all been delivered without requirement of usufruct now or hereafter, at least in any metal form, to society or club of manikins feeling strongly said "ikin" dogging them about and hiding out of sight the man, and trying hard to shake it off so as to leave them merely man, and wishing that their time of moving forks about said orange shall not be passed in vain, help manikins living for the most part in aggregation of small brick huts most unwhole-somely, huts not large enough for manikins, and for what proceedeth or is exuded out from same, in place called London mere collection of ant hills, and living chiefly in part called East end thereof, to quit forever said huts and going into boxes made of cut down trees cunningly put together so as more or less to keep out intrusion of water, which boxes being placed on aforementioned water and manikins being entered into them certain other fluids floating more or less quickly over head sometimes one way sometimes another shall perchance in time push or carry with them webs of canvas seeming large and extended on seemingly tall other trees cut down and stuck up and out of above mentioned boxes, and pushing them shall push and push till they shall have pushed webs sticks boxes manikins and all to other side said orange before spoken of—so that they do not push too hard and overturn boxes and cause poor manikins to find their forks and other portions of that which goes to make them what they are sinking helpless in said underlying fluid sometimes also called water.page 206
For manikins finding it hard to move forks about in East end from want of enough flour there, and much of the rind projecting hereabouts called England being altogether taken by a few manikins called landlords, to exclusion of all others, and who have already too much corn and will not hear of others who have none, not being landlords, nor having gold or silver, coming to grow a little for themselves, so such not being landlords must go in boxes over sea till they be pushed to other lands projecting forth from other portions of said sea where there be fewer landlords and all be able to get corn and flour, and masticating too the carcasses of brute beasts and gulping down result of mastication become more strong of arm and strong of fork having now within them portions of the strength of said brute beasts a thing unheard of here by any not having taken other's land nor possessing gold or silver.
Thus thy life oh little man hath not been altogether wasted, hath not at least been spent in Courts called legal, but hath enabled many and their wives and childern to seek for happier shores, and thus thy fruits of toil fumbling about beneath the rind of earthy orange hath not all been used upon thyself but much on others, and so thy breed of barren gold grows big with blessings.—From a tired sleepy foolish manikin called for distinction
C. A. Bampton.