Other formats

    Adobe Portable Document Format file (facsimile images)   TEI XML file   ePub eBook file  


    mail icontwitter iconBlogspot iconrss icon

Frank Leward: Memorials

Mrs. Leward to Bampton

Mrs. Leward to Bampton.

The Shrubbery.

Dear Mr. Bampton,—I am so thankful to you for your kind letter about my dearest mother, and all you so truly say of her; but it is indeed painful to read the latter part and hear such things said, though I know they are only too true. I have always tried to act impartially between my two sons, I have so strong a repugnance to injustice of any kind. Now when I think of the Glades all going to Arthur, which ought to have been Frank's, when I see that Arthur will some day page 118have all the Leward property as well, the undoubted birthright of the eldest son and he the rightful heir far away working like a common labourer for his livelihood, and worse than all having to do so with a broken heart, while she he so dearly loved is being forced into the arms of his younger brother, just because the lands she will inherit join those which Arthur ought never to have had, I feel I can scarcely bear my existence any longer. What can I, a poor helpless woman, do but lament in vain. I cannot even write to Frank for fear lest the condolence I must send if I write might only aggravate his sorrow. Such griefs are better left in silence and those who cause them remain unnoticed, but they gnaw into my mind, and sometimes I feel it whirling about I don't know where I am, I begin to wonder who I am, I sink into a stupid lethargy, and when I get better, I know exactly all that has passed before me and around me, though at the time I am quite unconscious that I take any notice of what is going on. I feel now while I write to you that I must not forget it is my husband, whom I am bound to honour and obey, who has done this thing, and I do not know what to do. I don't know whether I ought to send this letter to you, though I must tell you I received yours, and I cannot honestly pretend your strictures on those you speak about are not deserved. I did not mean him to see your letter, he is so nervous about such things, and has become very suspicious lately, but he happened to read it accidentally, and it had a bad effect upon him; he has been laid up ever since. I have not been at all well myself for page 119some time. I long for a letter from Frank, and yet I dread receiving it, for it will be the first I have had from him since what has occurred. Sometimes I feel inclined to leave them all here to themselves to escape from my present restraint, and rush off to join him in his hard solitary work in New Zealand forests, but I suppose I must remain with my husband and respect him all I can.—I am, very sincerely yours,

M. A. Leward.