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Sport 38: Winter 2010

Five Character Descriptions I am Too Lazy to Novelise

Five Character Descriptions I am Too Lazy to Novelise

'She had eyes like two large eggs, poaching in the ebullience of her boredom.'

'Doctor Umwelt waddled in like a constipated alligator.'

'Their faces were regular and pointy, one might say isosceles.'

'I affected a creaky voice in sophisticated company to seem more apropos; it was as though I was perched on the edge of a washing-machine in full swing.'

'To shake his hand was to extract a cold dead foetus from its jar of formaldehyde.'