14

She was not in the least bit sentimental, he tells me. He spells it out, the whole set of events. There are no leaps or bounds. They had overlapping interests. These became overlapping sets of engagements. Over time she has become elevated in his eyes, to a woman of renown. He describes her like one might describe the ingredients of the dishes on a menu, in detail. She's said to have had a rigorous intellect, a sly, subversive even, sense of humour. A beautiful bum. This is not the first blow-by-blow account he has given me of his failure. This time I don't challenge his received wisdom. I've realised, he says, you've got to let someone know you if they're going to love you. I'm going to let things in that I thought I had to keep out, he says. He really swims in that world of murky rules to live your life by. And who am I to pull him out?