Victoria College Student's Carnival 1903Victoria College Student's Carnival 1903[electronic resource]Creation of machine-readable versionKeyboarded by KiwiTechCreation of digital imagesKiwiTechConversion to TEI-conformant markupKiwiTechca. 42 kilobytesVictoria University of Wellington LibraryWellingtonModern English,
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2016Victoria College Student's Carnival 1903Victoria University College Students' AssociationWellington1903Source copy consulted: Victoria University of Wellington Library, JC Beaglehole Room, LG741 V C28873918Carnival
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NZETC Subject Headings1903EnglishLiterature
Victoria College Students' CarnivalDiploma Day Wednesday, 24th June, 1903 at 8 p.min the Sydney Street Schoolroom. The Public are cordially invited Seats: 2s and 1s
New-Laid EGGS from Fresh Food and Ice Company.
1
The Song of Victoria CollegeAedem colimus MinervaActi desiderioArtes nosse liberalesHoc in Hemispherio.ChorusOh Victoria, sempiternaSit tibi felicitas;Alma mater, peramataPer aetates maneasAedem colimus MusarumSub Australi sidere;Nos a Musis maria longaNequeunt dividere.Studiosi, studiosaeCaptant sapientiam;Circa venti turbulentiAuferunt desidiamOmnium CollegiorumSurgit hoc novissimum:Ergo vires iuvenilesExhibent fortissimum.Nomen quod profert, sadalesFausto sit oraculo;Ut Deus regno reginaeFaveat curriculoPer vias laboriosasDoctrinarum omniumDocti ducunt professoresObsequens servitiumCorpus sanum ne sit absensproperamus ludereSubter iugum occupantesFuste pilam trudere.Oratores, OratricesAudias effundereVoces dignas CiceroneEt sellas pertundere
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2
Men of Letters.
(By Cura Comae Sindendae.")Tune: "Father O'Flynn."
"What is the cue?" (A.G.Q. of course.)—2 Henry IV.
1.
We have colleges, many of charming variety,And students and profs. of most varying sobriety,Yet we'll maintain without impropriety,Victoria College is Queen of them all.All her professors are clearly the best;Her students are noted for zeal and for zest.Health to each graduate, proud is New Zealand's state,When she has them and US for the rest.
("Is not this a rare fellow?")—As You Like it.
Chorus. — Here's to a famous young man at the bar,Logician and President, great H.P.R.,Great in debating, committee-men slating,His name he is making as great as the Czar.
2.
'Twas said in the past that we made too much bobbery;The Chief Justice lectured to schoolboys on snobbery;The papers have stated our names, for which robberyWe cannot thank either "Post" or the "Times."Now we've reformed, we hope they will noteAll of their sermons we've learnt off by rote.Should they feel gratified, we will feel satisfied.Look more at our virtues and less at our crimes!
("A fellow of infinite, jest and most excellent fancy.")—Hamlet.
Chorus. — Here's a health to our latest B.A.,Through his "gig-lamps" of gold he looks happy the day.Long in the lower jaw, heart of the truest core,At football and law he is making his way.
3.
We sent a team North with great expectation—Two men to deliver a powerful oration,For running and walking in varied gradation,The men we had plenty, but training had not.Most of the runners got left on the track;"Eight points to forty" was all we brought back,But courage in plenty we never did lack.Next year we'll endeavour to better our lot.Chorus. — Here's a health to our hosts on the trip;Here's to the woes that we felt on the shipComing to Wellington, students be sure thenTo welcome our guests as is proper and fit.
4.
Behold a professor—the sixth in reality—"Sponging" his fine art, and "fossils" his specialty,Geological structures and fauna especiallyHe studies keenly without thought to shirk.Now he's thrown over his Government job;A professorial chair has been "one for his nob."Attending Biology we take theologyIn going to lectures we're going to "Kirk."Chorus. — Now as "enough is as good as a feast,"Since you've had enough, it is time we had ceased,Here we shall leave the stage—thanks for your patronageWhich we've endeavoured to merit at least.
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Use Gold Leaf Butter. Purest and Best.
3
Victoria's Variety ShowTune: "The Absent-Minded Beggar."By Figaro
"Such men of gravity and learning." —Henry VIII, iii. 1
When we've holler'd Maori Hakas and the Student's "Clementine,"We shall sing a lively ditty to a hoardOf abandoned old professors—best of pals below the line,And we won't forget the Chairman of the Board.He's an absent-minded beggar with a bald spot on his pate,But the Students have to take him as they find him,He's a sport, a brick, a bonser—as a runner he's first-rate,And however hard he grinds us we won't grind him.ChorusLong Prof., short Prof.—Professor we should say,Prof. with bald or woolly nob—it's all the same to-dayEach of 'em doing a noble work and never minding the pay,Could you want better Profs. than these?O! Say! Say! Say!There's a classical Professor and his name is Johnny Brown,He's a warrior at setting Latin Prose,But outside he's just a donah, if you'll only smooth him downWith a tale of how you're swatting "tooth and toes."Then there's Mac. the Scottish giant, and his bulk makes one feel queer,Till you hear the shrill falsetto that belies him,But he tells you good old "chestnuts," tells 'em reg'lar once a year,And he'll kick out any Student that decries him.ChorusLean Prof., stout Prof.—Professor we should say,Prof. that plays golf or milks his kye, it's all the same to-day,One of 'em knocking a ball about and one of 'em making hay,Could you want better Profs, than these,Oh! Say! Say! Say!Don't forget our own Maclaurin, he upheld New Zealand's fame,He's a marvel, quite a credit to our race,He's a little man but "See that?" is his cry as if he cameOf a family of elephantine grace.Good Von Zedlitz is our joker—he pronounces French so fineThat the Students simply cannot understand him,But his funny pointed sayings, as he spells words sign by sign,Makes them laugh and laugh until they'd like to "land" him.ChorusSweet Prof., Sour Prof., Prof. with a winning smile,He may live well at the Wellington Club, but he's young, he's young you'll say.Each of 'em making the Students work and wearing a nobby tile,Could you want better Profs, than these,O! Nay! Nay! Nay!
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Pure Milk from the Fresh Food & Ice Company.
4
The Cripple Brigade.
[By "Snag."]
Tune: "Pat Malone Forgot That He Was Dead."
"I never did see such pitiful rascals." — 2 Henry IV.
1.
Times were bad for football clubs,Men were scared of getting rubsAnd the College was hard pushed for willing men;For the two fifteens were hung,Just the chance of going bung,And the hearts of all were sinking there and then,But someone said, "There's Ostler,"Old, bald, but still a jostler,Just let him sniff the battle from afar;He's game as any nipper,There's not a better skipper,He loves the hottest fight and hardest jar.Chorus: Then Ostler he forgot that he was bald,He dived into his jersey and he called:"If this game goes on a minute,Bald-headed I'll be in it,I'll overlook the fact that I am bald."
3.
Then for forwards stout and trueThings were looking rather blue,And rats were leaving fast the sinking ship,But old Johnstone spoke his mind:"Though I'm very nearly blind,I'll play before I'll see this football slip."At this patriotic sound,All the stragglers gathered round,Our colours to the mast we soon had nailed;And it added to our joys,When some firm and true "Old Boys"From probable disaster never quailed.Chorus: Then Johnstone he forgot that he was blind,As good a bit of stuff as you will find,Where the game is at the minute,There you'll find the "old horse" in it,And Johnstone he forgets that he was blind.
3.
Though the forwards kept about,Yet the backs were dropping out,We thought we might be falling with a thud;He'd had appendicitis,(And Froggy synovitis)And at a pinch we had to look on "Tud";And he came out like a man,Kicked and collared and he ran,Of forward rushes off he stopped the dash;And the College thanks its stars,Cripples can take nasty jars,Of fortune's whip they never shun the lash.Chorus: For Tudhope he forgot that he was lame,He skipped into his jersey and he came,"For," he said, "though we are cripples,We'll take our football tipples,And we'll bob up quite serenely all the same."
Take Tonking's Linseed Emulsion for your cough. Sold Everywhere, 1/6, 2/6, & 4/6 per bottle.
Prime Table Poultry from Fresh Food & Ice Company.
Take Tonking's Linseed Emulsion for your cough. Sold Everywhere, 1/6, 2/6, & 4/6 per bottle.
Prime Table Poultry from Fresh Food and Ice Company.
Programme.
"Frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms!"
—(Shakespeare: Taming of the Shrew.
The Victoria College Song (No. 1.)
"What dances shall we have?"
—Midsummer Night's Dream
Maori Haka.
"What music is this?"
"I do but partly know, sir; it is music in parts."
—(Troilus and Cressida.)Chorus:
Over the Sea to SkyeThe Cripple Brigade (Snag) (No. 4).
Pianoforte Solo: "Caprice Espadnol" (Moskowski)
Mr. Frühauf.
Chorus: "Men of Letters," (Cura Comae Scindende) (No. 2.)
Solo .. Bedouin Love Song .. Mr. H. P. Richmond.
"For my voice I have lost it in hallooing And singing of anthems." —2 Henry IV.
Plantation Song: "Who Did?"
"Chaos is come again." —Othello.
"Komikalities."
"It is but foolery." —Julius Cæsar.
Trio: .. .. "Evensong,"
MissesEvans, Wedde, & Smythe.
"When shall we three meet again?"
Chorus:
Spanish GuitarVictoria's variety Show (Figaro) (No. 3.)
Solo"Hush Me, O Sorrow"MissEvans.
Plantation Song—-"De Lecture"
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PureMilk from the Fresh Food & Ice Company.
"The best actors in the world either for tragedy or comedy."
(Hamlet.)
Farce
My Turn Next
Characters:
Taraxicum Twitters(A Village Apothecary)R. M. WatsonTim Bolus(His Professional Assistant)O. N. GillespieTom Trap(A Commercial Traveller)A. S. HendersonFarmer Wheathear from BlenheimJ. L. StoutLydia(Twitter's Wife)Miss F. G. RobertsCicely(Her Sister)Miss H. M. BathamPeggy(Twitter's Domestic)Miss N. Heath
Scene: A Country Chemist's Shop Parlour
God Save the King
Graduates of the Year.
Honours in Arts.
Harriet JenkinsG. G. RoseJ. TamblynMarion K. WilsonHonours in Science.
J. BeeBachelor of Arts.
E. F. AllanF. C. DouglasA. H. JohnstoneEva M. B. LynchElizabeth ToomanBessie B. WhyteBachelor of Laws.
J. PrendevilleH. P. Richmond
Take Tonking's Linseed Emulsion for your cough. Sold Everywhere, 1/6, 2/6, & 4/6 per bottle.
New-Laid EGGS from Fresh Food and Ice Company.
Take Tonking's Linseed Emulsion for your cough. Sold Everywhere, 1/6, 2/6, 4/6 per bottle
Use Gold Leaf Butter. Purest and Best.
5
Tangi Wikitoria.
[By Titokowaru.]
Tune: "Marching Through Georgia."
"The red plague rid you for learning me your language."
—Tempest I., 2.
1.
Kia ora tonu nga kai-ako raNga tino puna o te matauranga raKia nui ai hoki matou katoaI taua puna tino nui rawa.Chorus: Hura! Hurei! Mo nga Kaiako raHura! Hurei! Mo koutou katoaKua noho nei i te nohoanga nuiO Kingi Horomona-a-a.
2.
Kia Kaha tonu; kia maia raKi te whawhai o te ao nui nei raKia rongo nui ai to koutouWhaea a Wikitoria Kareti-iChorus: Hura! Hurei! Mo nga kotiro raHura! Hurei! Mo koutou katoaKua noho nei i te nohoanga nuiO Kingi Horomona-a-a
3.
E tama ma e kia mahara raMa koutou hoki ka rongo nui aiTe tino kareti nui o Poneke raE Haere nei-i-iChorus: Hura! Hurei! Mo koutou katoaHura! Hurei! Kua whiwhi neiKua noho nei i te nohoanga nuiO Kingi Horomona-a-a
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6
Enter an OstlerBy "Mus."
Tune: The Vicar of Bray."
"There is not a shirt and a half in the whole Company." 2 Henry IV
1.
The Senate met to try a manOn charge of highest treason,His dress was not a perfect fitHie tie was out of season.A sweater perched beneath his coatTo which no tails were tacked,To part his hair he took no care,His pants were slightly slacked.Chorus—"'Twas an infwaction of the wules," cried Bots,The man's reply (translated):"If that is so your rules can go,To "—— where it is not stated.
2.
In vain they tried to get laid downA costume regulation,Then rose a famous man of law,Reviewed the situation."Shall Students' cut and style of trow.Be specially inspected,Sweaters we can well allowIf Colleges are naked."Chorus—For Salamanca's site you seeIts nakedness confessing,And fifteen thousand's all that weHave got to spend in dressing.
3.
So in this age our sweaters fill"Their numerous expectations,"In spite of piles of good "red tape"And "Dublin's" aspirations.We'll wear our sweaters till they're doneThey surely cannot harm us,If they say "No," we'll chuck the showAnd come in our pyjamas.Chorus—For this our right we do maintainTo dress as comfort suits,And if they force dress suits againWe'll come in bathing suits.
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7
Quem Porro Fletum Sororum Putatis.
By "Half-back." Tune: "The Woes of a Sister."
"If thou dost play with him at any game thou art sure to lose."
—Anthony and Cleopatra II., 3.
1.
Our "Froggy" was a promising youth,He was going for his degree,But now, alas, he's gone dotty, forsoothNot a tittle of work does he;He's gone clean off his "cocoanut,"And he does no reading at night,And he's given up going to lectures,Football's his heart's delight.
2.
For now he's joined a football club—What that means I do not know,But on Saturdays sharp at two o'clock,To Petone he will go.He calls himself a forward—Faith what that is I cannot say,But he gets well paid for his forwardness,When they carry him home from play.Chorus: For he's home with a broken ankle,And his nose laid flat on his face,A smart young fellow we thought him onceBut now he's a vile disgrace;For he's joined this horrible football club,I call them a gang of fools,With their goals, their tries, their kicks, their byesAnd their Rugby Union Rules.
3.
Last night he was sleeping, and, waking,He made a great spring out of bed,He kicked the cat and ho shouted "Goal!"Then he butted the wall with his head;And he's done no work this season,And football's his heart's delight.
4.
He comes home with blood all plastered,And inches of skin off his "paws,"And he litters the house with bottles and jarsOf ointment to rub on his sores,And he tells us he's learning to dribble,I can quite believe what he says;For I never saw such a drivelling idiot,As "Froggy" in all my days.Chorus: For he's home with a broken ankle, etc., etc.
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8
And a Good Judge, Too.
[By "Jurisconsult."]
Tune: "Judge's Song in" Trial by Jury."
"Enter the Lord Chief Justice." —2 Henry IV.
1.
I was, good friends, when called to the bar,A schoolmaster of Otago;But I was as many schoolmasters areWith children quite a virago;And for discipline strict no one ever knewA soldier quite so drastic.Repeat I'd a couple of canes, and a strap or two,And a bearing quite majestic.
2.
In my country school I'd danced the danceOf a semi-despondent fury;For I thought I would never hit on a chanceOf addressing a British jury;But I joined the "Barton, Mondy" lot,And Doctor Findlay, d'ye mind him?Repeat He'd pass for a first-class patriot,On the stage with the light behind him.
3.
And then I became a great Barrister,And briefs came trooping daily;And then I became an M.H.R.,And I served my country gaily;And when they made me a justice high,To be rid of my orations,Repeat I used my eloquence to descryYoung students to their relations.
4.
For this I never could understandWhy students should think so "rorty,"Songs with bell and drum for band,Which seem to me so naughty;For I quite forget my days of youth,When my blood ran a little faster,Repeat And I only remember, to tell the truth,The days when I was schoolmaster.
Gaudeamus.
Gaudeamus igiturJuvenes dum sumus;Post jucundam juventutem,Post molestam senectutem,Nos habebit humus.Vita nostra brevis estBrevi finieturVenit mors veloeiter,Rapit nos atrociterNemini parcetur.Pereat Tristitia,Pereant osores!Pereat diabolusAnti-AcademicusAtque irrisores!Vivat AcademiaVivant ProfessoresVivat membrum quodlibet,Vivant membra quaelibetSemper sint in flore.Vivant omnes virgines,Faciles, formosae!Vivant et mulieres,Tenerae, amabiles,Bonae, laboriosae.Floreat Eduardus RexHaud minus quam MaterOb virtutes sic ameturOptimus ut appelleturPatriaeque Pater
Take Tonking's Linseed Emulsion for your cough. Sold Everywhere, 1/6, 2/6, & 4/6 per bottle.