Salient. Official Newspaper of the Victoria University Students' Association. Vol 44 No. 5. March 30 1981
Salient notes
Salient notes
The carpark was bleak and windswept. Even the gravel looked lonely. A solitary gas lamp was the only relief from the cold eerie darkness. A tall angular figure walked with purpose into the circle of light, a great-coat draped from his bones, the collar scraping the ears (which was no mean feat). The figure puffed at the stub of a cigar, in the process frazzling the remains of his moustache.
A second figure emerged from the shadows. Similarly bony but shorter in stature, he wore a hat pulled down over his curls, and his eyelashes were cropped as an attempt at masculinity.
The two figures eyed each other for a moment "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" said the short one.
"Quit fooling kid" said the tall one. "A message has been passed down the line and Mr Barrowman says this is the big one."
The scene changes abruptly to the Salient Office. Nobody would suspect these personable little rooms inhabited by quiet spoken shiny people like Kathryn Irvine and Ruth Laugesen of being a cover for an extensive organisation. An organisation involved no less in brain washing the masses, perverting the minds of Catholics and (shock, horror) a side interest in illicit second hand car dealing. Jonathan Taylor, for instance, never looks as though he could cover anything.
Nevertheless, on this particular night the air was filled with expectancy. Tonight was indeed the Big One. The heavies were out in force. Even Peter "big boy" Beach had turned up and stood alternately cracking his joints and picking his nose with a scalpel. Geoff Adams kept poking his head through the door and retreating back to his office like a nervous penguin muttering "When will he come back?" He was referring to Stephen A'Court, the proverbial Godfather of the outfit who was still recovering from kneecap wounds received in the last debacle.
The lightweights were there as well. Neil, Lorna Massof, and Jean McKay fluttered round the fringes lighting cigars and pouring stiff drinks. But no one could call Helen McNaught a lightweight. That make-up wouldn't fool a dog. Even Jessica Wilson couldn't hide her seediness in spite of lending her black leotard to a group of would be musicians. Not to mention that cool dude Stephen Danby. Dressed impeccably in white suit, panama hat and shades he reclined in a chair and played a nonchalant game of Russian Roulette.
Just at that moment the door burst open and Michelle A'Court strode in. "I've got news" she said. "Big Brother says it's all a mistake. The deal must be called off." But it was too late. At that very moment Paul Wiggins and Andrew McCallum were speeding down The Terrace in a stolen '59 Austin with 396 fuelie heads and a hurst on the floor.
You don't believe it? Well, it's all a case of mistaken identity.
Salient is edited by Geoff Adams (for want of anything better to do), published by VUWSA and printed by Wanganui Newspapers Ltd, Drews Ave, Wanganui.