Salient. Newspaper of the Victoria University Students' Association. Vol 42 No. 13. June 11 1979

A Defense of the Queen's English

A Defense of the Queen's English

Dear Pete,

How are you? I am find. Don't forget to change your underwear regularly. And now for something differently unusual (I think.)

Once again you have seen fit to publish a letter by that silly bugger with the long numerical name. Well, I don't really blame you for that, you have to get something to fill up the rag.

But what I do object to is the absolutely English (?) that it uses in its letter. I will not bother to correct it as you would have to print a bumper edition of Salient to get it all in. Instead I extend the hand of friendship to the writer of "Take that, you hound." If you would be willing to lake some lessons in the Queen's English I would be glad to offer my services as tutor, then perhaps we could exchange well-written insults at least.

I really am getting tired of defending my good name in print every time some child of light gets up on its hind legs and opens its muzzle to prove its cretinism so we'll leave it at mat shall we?

Now for a hit of what makes the world go round. Kathy...........darling (sigh) Oh you little devil you. You didn't tell me you would do That!!! For a moment I was surprised at your gymnastic audacity, but my mouth was too full to exclaim at the time. Later on, of course, we were engrossed in other things to remember.

But you certainly do manage yourself well, don't you? O Kathy, my little pearl, my little bublinshka, my sweet, my love....................... I'm sorry, but the same time same place is just not on I'm afraid. Why not try it on the cable car ramp over Salamanca Road and see if any one notices? Or better still let's try Parliament steps, Friday night?

Dying to embrace your scintillating form.

Your love,

Paul.