Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 39, Number 18, July 26, 1976.
Salient Notes
Salient Notes
So commenced the trial of Gerard 'Che Guevara' Couper, alleged on the night of 22 July to have mechanistically stabbed diminutive Lindy Cassidy 368 times through the duodenum in one of his wild fits or rage. Acting for the Crown were Leonie Morris and Bruce Ribinson, pleased that they had already determined the outcome of the trial by a quick glance at the popular 'Every person's guide to collecting Scalp' written around 1850 by an obscure German named James Robb. David Murray and Anthony Ward represented the defendant, although the trial was punctuated by frequent outbursts caused by the ideological furore that emanated from their corner of the courtroom.
By Tuesday the first witness had taken the stand. It was the beady-eyed Gyles Beckford, who gave extensive evidence on the effects of bursary levels on Rose Desmone and Neil Gray. Cross examination failed to determine whether the link was a causal or relatively autonomous one, and lead to Peter Thrush renouncing the student cause muttering something about "the management of money".
The second witness was Lynn Peck, whose attempts to copy Nadia Comencimeant drastic medical attention from Martin Doyle. Weilding a cunning scalpel was Mike Stevens. The witness was finally carried off singing Cuban revolutionary songs by Gary Lewis and John Bowden.
Lionel Klee testified that he took photographs of the alleged scene of the alleged crime. Defence counsel successfully argued that the photos were taken in entirely the wrong problematic, and sent Kevin Swann and Matt Nolan completely off to sleep.
Richard Mays then arrived with a copy of a letter that he claimed the defendant had sent to Rachel Scott in Peking. Pat Bartle admitted to having typed the offending document, and Ryall had edited it. The Crown then summed up its case, of one murder plus one breach of privilege equally one charge of treason. Defence suggested this displayed the inability of the Crown to do maths (especially reductions) properly.
Throughout the proceedings, the accused maintained the need to put politics in command and increase student bursaries, but as noone was listening, being far more concerned with points of technique, he wrapped himself up in a parcel to Wanganui Newspapers and was copied 5,500 times. Police report a stunning increase in the crime rale.
P.S. The Salient staff was not convinced of the sincerity of the sudden burst of activity this week from Rose Desmond. The big character posters have remained up on the Salient walls!
Salient is edited by Lindy Cassidy, Leonic Morris and Pat Bartle with a little help from John Ryall who wastes too much time talking instead of working, published by Victoria University of Wellington Students' Association, and printed by Wanganui Newspapers, Drews Lane. Wanganui.