Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume. 34, Number 1. 1971
Mens Page — with aunti therese
Mens Page
with aunti therese
This page was conceived out of sudden realization (followed by much observation) that men are somewhat lacking the true qualities of modern life. The function of this page is to educate the male in facets of life which have been denied him totally.
Why should a person miss out on some of the most fascinating aspects of living in our time just because of his sex?
The cultural aura which surrounds women, as epitomized in those delightful women's magazines, will be shattered in this page and males will be allowed to share and participate in stimuli which is guaranteed to enrich.
To Catch a Woman.
Go for a walk, naked, in the light of the moon, in a flower garden, and cast behind you as you go handfuls of rose-petals. You will attract the lover you want.
To Keep Her.
Enter a church and light a votive candle to the Virgin Mary / Immaculate and Joseph. Then whisper:
Dear Mother Mary (Father Joseph).
smile on me.
Keep my love true to me,
I want (speak her name)
With all my heart
And from her never to depart,
Dear Father Joseph (Mother Mary) grant this me.
Take some of your own nailclippings and some of hers, and burn them together at midnight. (Apply proper projection and concentration while doing the burning.)
Recipes:
The Gaelic-speaking descendants of the old Scotic people have a saying that: "Uncooked meal porridge and whole-milk soured is the food of the strong man." The porridge is prepared as follows;
Mix in a small glass casserole a quantity of coarse oatmeal, sufficient for one person, with enough boiling water to form a thick paste; add a dessertspoonful of butter, cover and allow to stand for about ten minutes until the grain has swollen to the utmost. Serve in the casserole with milk, honey, sugar, etc.
Beauty Tips:
Bend over at the waist and breathe deeply for a minute or two to 'flush a bit of life and colour into pretty cheeks before the photographer snaps a colour shot. Good thought, for anybody's instant glow of health, in the moment just before the guests start to arrive perhaps.
For intrigue every man should have at least one flaw—like Nelson's one arm. Some flaws unfortunately have less charm that others.....
Pseudo-poetic form is used here to add culture to an appeal for cleanliness. Keeping the words simple so that comprehension will be at its maximum, Aunti Therese in collaboration with some obscure women's magazine present: "The Bath". Cleanliness being closely related to Godliness, and since men are closely related to gods, cleanliness is an integral part of a good man's page.
Take a Walk in the Rain... or take a shower
Everyone knows there is
nothing better for the skin
than the soft moisture
of a Scottish mist...
or a country walk when...
you come home drenched...
rainwater tones and smooths
the complexion and, when
you are dry and warm again,
See How you Glow
This is fine for the face
but why not take it a step further and feel
the exhilaration of
Shower Power All Over
a hot shower
to cleanse,
a warm shower to refresh,
or, a shudderingly cold shower
to invigorate—
No shower takes too much time;
there's no temptation
to linger,
no facilities for reading books
or eating oranges,
but a shower docs it's work
speedily and efficiently.
Golden Rules:
Exercise, work, play, and rest in moderation.
Always stand, sit, and walk erect.
Evacuate thoroughly and daily.
Keep the thoughts cheerful, pure and healthy.
Avoid self-drugging and contact with diseased persons.
After contact with potential sources of infection, wash with a soap containing 1% of Mercuric Iodide.
Before dropping off to sleep, repeat (taking care to move the lips) the Coue formula about twenty times;
Day by day and in every way I am growing better and better.
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