The Letters of Katherine Mansfield: Volume I

Grand Bar de la Samaritaine — Marseille — le 19 Novembre, 1915 —

Grand Bar de la Samaritaine
Marseille
le 19 Novembre, 1915

To S. S. Koteliansky

I am glad that I came. Many times I have realised that Acacia Road and all that it implied is over, for ever.

This is a confused and extraordinary place. It is full of troops,—French, African, Indian, English. In fact there are types from all over the world and all walking together down narrow streets choked with tiny carriages painted yellow, white mules with red fringes over their eyes—all those kinds of things you know. The port is extremely beautiful. But I've really nothing to say about the place unless I write to you for weeks—for all my observation is so detailed as it always is when I get to France. On the mantelpiece in my room stands my brother's photograph. I never see anything that I like, or hear anything, without the longing that he should see and hear, too—I had a letter from his friend again. He told me that after it happened he said over and over “God forgive me for all I have done” and just before he died he said, “Lift my head, Katy, I can't breathe”—

To tell you the truth these things that I have heard about him blind me to all that is happening here—All this is like a long uneasy ripple—nothing else—and below—in the still pool there is my little brother.

So I shall not write any more just now. But I think of you often and always with love—