"The Readin' O' the Marks"

(To the tune—vaguely—of "Phil the Fluter's Ball.)

A Disgusted student has suggested that the University of New Zealand should embellish our result cards with the rubber stamped fairies, bunny rabbits, flowers and similar incitements to good work beloved of primary school teachers.

Oh say me bhoys and have ye heard, of the Senate's latest larks?
They're forbidding the examiners from tellin' you your marks.
They're going' to give us A's and B's and C's and D's and E's
To stop that wobbly feelin' around about our knees.

Then come bhoys, applaud bhoys, let's tell them what we like
Clowns and coloured butterflies and fairies on a spike,
Little bunny rabbits and old decrepit sharks,
To stop us feelin' wobberly when readin' out our marks.

You'll remember all the carnage in the years that now are past
There was murder foul and bloody, and the students looked aghast
There was snobbery and jobbery and class distinction too,
When someone else got 51 and you got 52.

Then come bhoys applaud bhoys and let us ask for more
Elfs and gnomes and elephants, and leprechauns galore,
Stamps for those that pass and stamps for them that failed,
With A's and B's and C's and D's, all comin' through the mail.

You'll remember Willie Mulligan who fainted on the spot.
There was silly Billy Bunter, who up himself and shot.
They're buried in the cemetery, they're cited on the plaques.
They couldn't stand the tension at the readin' o' the marks.

If you've 95 in Maths, quoth Dr. Hulme so spry,
It needn't be as good as twenty less in botaneye
And that's grave injustice, what a social stigma's there,
You'll be frowned upon for life by the upper hundredaires.

Then come bhoys, applaud bhoys, and let us ask for more,
Exams are so much worry, such a bloody mental war,
Why should we be anguished and sit exams at all
Let's all be accredited, come the end of every fall.

We're such tender little creatures, we're such delicate little sprites
We have to be protected from such wild and hideous sights,
The Senate's oh so careful 'bout our mental neuro-sees,
But they're not so blasted tender when they're puttin' up the Fees.

There's a dirty little whisper that's a-growin' round the place,
It is rumoured, it is whispered, it's a cryin' out disgrace.
They say that when the Senate restrained us from our marks
Most of them thought they'd stopped us readin' out o' Marx.

Then come bhoys, applaud bhoys, let's have stamps of pretty things,
Ships and shoes and sealin' wax and cabbages and kings,
Nude girls and crude girls and mugs of beer an' all,
Then we can frame our final cards and hang them on the wall.

(Rosie D'Graded).

The Senate Meets

The meeting of the University Senate although well reported was not notable for its proceedings on conclusions.

If anything was done vitally affecting students it was only a new marking system. This new system, subsequently discussed at the NZUSA meeting, seems designed to confuse.

Several problems will arise. How will students who may benefit by a recount know whether to apply or not? Those who apply on the grading system may be wasting money. Will the N.Z. University refund it? A student in a two or three paper subject may receive a grading covering either all his papers or each one. An over all grading would be useless to a student interested in taking his best subject to the honours stage. In practice will the grading system differ from terms? Some standard must be taken and marks are easiest.

The comments of those who defended the system at the meeting of New Zealand University Students Association may explain the confusion.

The principal of this University College did not seem satisfied with the system. Certainly we have not talked to one student who approved the idea.

Other matters discussed by the Senate, including the University system as a whole, were airy fairy—at least to the newspaper reader. The discussions appeared to lack purpose and failed to reach any conclusions. The urgent need for hostels may have been mentioned, and this country's apathy on the subject can be contrasted with overseas. Even in Great Britain new hostels have been opened. Hostels for civil servants, Maori workers, miners, etc., etc., are not enough. One major addition to the University in a decade: a new Medical School, is not enough.

Certainly nothing was done to resolve the academic chaos, the intellectual and spiritual apathy. It would be Interesting to know what was done besides an honorary degree or two.

Student Rep. Needed on Senate

The Senate should have a representative of NZUSA among its members. This became more obvious during its recent meeting.

Negotiations have been made but the Senate "won't have it on at any price at the moment." This is regrettable. If they imagine the student representative would be irresponsible then they do not trust the student bodies, nor is their distrust complimentary to the University system which is in their charge.

The spectacle of NZUSA making representations for increased bursaries eight months after the increase in fees shows a determination in our interests which would not have been necessary had the two matters been arranged together.

Most of the Senate members are prosperous and able, outstanding members of our community but their understanding of the student point of view is not as profound as a student's. At Victoria College our Association has a representative on the College Council and this very successful arrangement could work as well in the Senate.

We understand that negotiations are at a standstill. Certainly there was no reported mention of this matter at the Senate. NZUSA should press the matter and see that the negotiations are never at a standstill.

In the meantime student behaviour in administration should be as balanced as possible short term successes, political demonstrations for remote if important causes do not outweigh the advantages to be gained from a direct representation on the Senate.